I Almost felt like crap for my SIL’s Bachelorette Party – Here’s Why

embrace change

Written by Amber Swenor

As Soul Seed Strategy's founder and Brand Strategist, Amber works with clients to evaluate their brand, understand their goals, and develop a strategy that will deliver the results they seek.

October 3, 2019

I’m knee-deep in egg whites and oats. Why? Because I didn’t plan ahead, that’s why. Because I am 3 weeks out from my brother’s wedding and I really don’t want to feel like a sausage in my totally backless dress …

I’m not a fan of crash diets whatsoever, however, I have three weeks to be in action and make a difference so that I can feel better going into my brother’s special day. This is also a very special day for me as I’ll be witnessing a real-life miracle: someone is actually marrying that pesky, annoying, argumentative (also thoughtful, loving, super handy, and funny) dude! 

And doesn’t this show up in your life, too? 

You know, that thing that’s starting to come to light, to poke its head, or in my case: pudge its roll. 

Maybe it’s the icky feeling that creeps in on Sunday night before you return to work on Monday, and you know it’s no longer a good environment for you but fear is keeping you stuck in place.
Maybe it’s questioning if your relationship is right for you, a waning sex life with a partner you love but you’re busy, so… or business is not growing, you’re treading water, but you have a never-ending ‘to-do’ list…..
Whatever it is, how often are our heads in the sand until it’s a 911 “I can’t zip my skirt” emergency in your face and you absolutely have to do something about it?

The good news is that today is the perfect day to get started on taking action to change things! 

Here are 3 easy steps to start making change:

1. Acknowledge what you desire to change: You must have full honest awareness towards it. No excuses. You can be gentle with yourself and don’t have to beat yourself up over it, but you do have to truly acknowledge what is not going to plan, and then decide that you are totally committed to change.

2. Embrace that getting started may be the easy part: Your change journey may require days, weeks, or years, but aren’t YOU worth that commitment? If not you, then who or what is worth more? And if you just lied to yourself and said “Oh, my kids are more important, I need to keep doing XYZ for them,” or “My husband”, or my “Parents,” or “My clients,” let me ask, are YOU taking care of YOU so you can show up for them? Is it honorable to run around ragged, stressed out, overweight, (insert your ailment)? No, it’s not. That’s a lie my parents taught me in the 80s. We dispelled that, remember? Aren’t sure what I mean? Check out my recent podcast here where I dispel the false belief that everything has to come through “hard work.”
So, embrace that your change journey may not be easy, but it also doesn’t have to be hard. What it requires is commitment to change, showing up consistently, and being resilient. Resilience to bounce back when you break down and eat the brownies, and feel guilty. When you “give in” and have sex with a partner you no longer desire to be intimate with and feel shame. Or when out of exhaustion, you throw your arms up and let your child play the iPad an hour longer than the timeframe you already stated 20 times that they’re allowed to play, and feel like a failure. The journey is going to have challenges, embrace that. It’s an opportunity to prove your commitment to yourself.

3. Plan and take action: What’s the long term plan that is needed to make this change? Now, break that down into bite-sized action steps. What can you do today, tomorrow, next week? Write it out, make a plan, and then do just one thing, and then another. One foot in front of the next. I’m not dropping 12 lbs overnight, but I can get to the gym today, and I can meal plan for the next week to come. And then, I can stick to that plan, every day. Over time, the weight comes off. In the last three days, I dropped a pound; but honestly, the number doesn’t matter, it’s about how I feel, and I’m feeling a lot better than I did on Saturday when I wasn’t taking any action at all.
When you fumble or fall, get back up. You’re a resilient badass and change is a transformation journey. Embrace the ride.
I’m loving it, one egg white at a time. Might slip up and eat a peanut butter m&m tomorrow, but just one, then I’m lifting myself back up onto that treadmill.

And you are too.


Because you’re worth it! Period. No excuses. Do the Damn thing.

Summer wedding dress, here I come!

PS: I still had a blast at the bachelorette party! I’m not one to sulk and miss the important moments in life. Instead, I peeled off the skirt, changed into pants and went out and danced all night, embracing myself in that moment. And then, on Sunday, I got back to the gym and created a meal plan.

What are you working to improve or change in your life? Send me a message, I’d love to hear what you’re up to!

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